“What did you expect? You’ve not changed. Nothing’s changed. You’re still the same awkward, ugly duckling girl with no self-esteem and no self-confidence. You’ll never be good enough. Pretty enough. Skinny enough. You’ll never be enough. Period. You’re not even adequate. You’re a failure. A failure as a wife. A failure as a mom. A failure as a friend. You’ll never measure up. You’re worthless. I mean, really? What did you expect?”
Lies of the Enemy, whispered to me, kicking me over and over in the gut when I am down.
It’s funny how the very things we thought we had left behind years ago are what he immediately brings rushing back, trying to use our past to defeat us during the times we are hurt. Old dog, old tricks. Planting seeds of doubt and insecurity.
And for a while, I wallowed. In self-pity. In self-doubt. In heartbreak. In the past. I allowed the Enemy to laugh while I cried; to gloat in my pain.
Until I picked up the love letter written to me by the King, and heard His words of truth that He has decreed and spoken over me.
“I have loved you with an everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3)
“I will never leave you or forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)
“For it was I who created you; I knit you together in your mother’s womb. You are remarkably and wonderfully made by Me.” (Psalm 139:13)
“For I know the plans I have for you, plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. You will call to Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you” (Jeremiah 29:11-14)
“I have liberated you to be free. Stand firm then and don’t submit again to a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1)
“I will be your portion, therefore put your hope in Me.” (Lamentations 3:24)
“When you are afraid, trust in Me. I Myself have recorded your wanderings. Put your tears in My bottle. Are they not in My records?” (Psalm 56:3, 8)
“I love you so much that I gave My one and only Son for you.” (John 3:16)
“I proved My own love for you in that while you were still a sinner, I died for you!” (Romans 5:8)
“You are in Christ, you are a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things have come.” (II Cor. 5:17)
“Look! I am making everything new.” (Rev. 21:5)
“I will fulfill My purpose for You. My love is eternal; I will not abandon the work of My hands.” (Psalm 138:8)
“I watched Satan fall from heaven like a lightning flash. Look, I have given you the authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy; nothing will ever harm you.” (Luke 10:18-19)
“Who can separate you from My love? Can affliction or anguish or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No! In all these things you are more than victorious because I love you. Know that not even death or life, angels or rulers, things present or things to come, hostile powers, height or depth, or any other created thing will have the power to separate you from My love!” (Romans 8:35-39)
So . .
Talked with Jesus this morning. He said to tell you that you’re a loser, so stop gloating over me. I might have fallen down, but He picked me back up. My shame, my insecurity, and all my shortcomings – my sin – were nailed to the cross with Him, inscribed on the palms of His hands. They don’t define me anymore. He does. He is for me. He owns me. He has adopted me as His own. He pleads my case and establishes my right. He will bring me out into the light, and I will see His righteousness. Then you, loser, will see it and be covered with shame. (Micah 7:8-10)
P.S. I read the end of the Book. You lose, liar-liar-pants-on-fire. Literally.