I recently discovered Five Minute Friday via Even a Girl Like Me. I’ve never been one for stream-of-consciousness free writing. I’m more of a researcher/editor/writer/re-editor/re-writer. Must have something to do with why I majored in history instead of English. Anyway, I thought I’d give it a shot.
Yikes. What a word to start with in light of my current struggles and situation. In the middle of all my questions, some of which will probably never get answered, is the question of “WHAT’S NEXT?”
. . . this present heartbreak.
. . . this uncertainty about tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.
. . . this confusion and resentment and anger at the total and complete UNNECESSITY of this entire situation.
. . . the “us” that isn’t an “us” anymore. Will I ever stop saying “we”?
. . . seeing myself as one-half of a whole. Will I be whole just by myself?
. . . identifying myself in terms of someone else. What will it be like to just be me?
I don’t know the answer to those questions.
But it will be okay.
I will be okay.
Because Jesus, my One true One and Only, has promised that He will bring me BEYOND this present place of suffering and heartbreak.
He has saved me.
He is healing me.
He is restoring me.
And He will reveal my BEYOND story when the time is right.