Are You Trustworthy?

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So, this post started out as a comment to a post by Tracee Persiko.  Then it sort of took on a life of it’s own, so I decided to post it as a blog entry instead of writing a thesis in her comments.

Excerpts reblogged from Are You Trustworthy?

Trust is no small thing. I read a quote the other day that literally made me say, “YES!” out loud. George Macdonald stated that, “It is a greater compliment to be trusted than to be loved.”

This is not true for everyone, but for me, I value so much when other people consider me safe and trustworthy. I get how hard of a risk it is, so when someone risks on me, I do not take that lightly.

Trust is a processespecially in relationships. Trust takes commitment, time, and hard work. Relationships are founded on trust, and without it, relationships break down.

Trust is broken when fear enables one to doubt that they are protected from harm, or that their best interest is lost consideration.

I desire to be considered worthy of trusting. It is no small thing from God or anyone else. Trust is not to be taking lightly, but considered valuable. Everything we do and say speaks to how we will be trusted.

Would you consider yourself trustworthy?

Would other’s consider you trustworthy?

How do you build trust in your relationships?

Continue reading Are You Trustworthy?

Great thoughts! I struggle with this from a different angle. I have always been an extremely loyal person. When I tell someone I will do something, I keep my word. That’s just how I was raised. We didn’t have a lot, but we had our word. And that meant something.  To my dad, it meant everything.

Since I am so loyal and want desperately to be a trustworthy person, it is hard for me to understand why others aren’t. I will – and have – bent over backwards, inconvenienced myself, and rearranged my life when others needed me, only to be left bewildered – and angry – when I needed them and they were nowhere to be found, or they decided they no longer wanted to keep the commitment they made to me.  I don’t understand a person just deciding to not keep their promise.  I was left realizing that my trust had been misplaced.

Don’t get me wrong. I know people will fail me. And I will fail others. But what I am talking about is a repeated pattern of behavior over an extended period of time with no repentance and no regret for the pain caused by their actions (or inaction, as the case may be).

I am realizing that I need to continue to “hold fast to my integrity” and to be trustworthy, even if others aren’t. But I need to set appropriate boundaries, and not get so focused on expecting trustworthiness from those that have repeatedly shown themselves to be untrustworthy. It’s useless to beat a dead horse, and it’s useless to expect someone to suddenly be trustworthy when they just aren’t.

Trust is usually something I freely give, again, probably because it is something I expect to be given to me. I don’t want to come off as sounding cynical, but I kind of view it now through the lens of when Jesus told the disciples to go into a town and preach, but if they weren’t welcomed, to shake the dust of their sandals and move on.  I feel sort of the same way about giving my trust to people.  I try to freely give it, but if you show me repeatedly that you don’t value it and it means nothing to you, I will eventually figure out that my trust is best served somewhere else because it will mean something to someone else.

People who are repeatedly untrustworthy are usually that way because they are extremely selfish and self-centered.  They expect you to keep your word because it is beneficial for them when you do. But don’t expect anything in return, because that would inconvenience them.  And it’s always ALL about them.

Most importantly, I need to focus on God’s response to my trustworthiness, not theirs. He is trustworthy, even when other people aren’t. He will never be unfaithful or disloyal.

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4 thoughts on “Are You Trustworthy?

  1. Love your thoughts on this! It is really hard to balance the tension between being a trustworthy and good person, and not being walked on. I hate that people have taken advantage of your trust. I do hope you have experienced people who handle and value your heart well. You deserve that. Grateful for your value of trust. it makes all the difference.

    • Thanks, Tracee! So true about it being a balancing act. When I was younger I was so afraid of disappointing people that I would never stand up for myself. Now I realize that it isn’t a sin for me to stand up for myself and say, “I will not allow you to treat me this way any longer.” We are supposed to be gentle and humble, but that doesn’t mean we have to be doormats and take repeated abuse of any kind, be it emotional, mental, or physical. And, yes, God has blessed me – especially recently – with a LOT of people that I know I could call and say “Hey, I need you” and they’d be at my house in 10 minutes. So grateful.

  2. It’s funny, as a child and particularly as an adolescent, I took this to an extreme – and I still struggle with it sometimes. I have a unusually good memory and for some reason have always automatically assumed that when someone says something, or mentions doing something, they mean it. I used to drive my parents nuts by getting seriously upset and listing off some random offhand comments that they didn’t remember making, or hadn’t really meant, and trying to hold them to account (I see my sister struggling with the same issue with her daughter now so it must be hereditary :)). I still have to remind myself that most people frequently say things they don’t necessarily mean and likely won’t remember and not to hold it against them too much. But you’re right, when you talk about serious things, I’ve found for my own sanity letting go of people who repeatedly flake out or fail to follow through on commitments they’ve made is often the best thing to do. And I remind myself (again and again as I need to do) that God will never be “that” person – that He’s the one who will never never not be there or fail to fulfil what He says He will do…

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