Purpose in the Wait

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From Jesus Calling – Sarah Young

Make friends with the problems in your life. Though many things feel random and wrong, remember that I am sovereign over everything. I can fit everything into a pattern for good, but only to the extent that you trust Me…. The choice is up to you, and you will have to choose many times each day whether to trust Me or defy Me…. The best way to befriend your problems is to thank Me for them. This simple act opens your mind to the possibility of benefits flowing from your difficulties…. I will not necessarily remove your problems, but My wisdom is sufficient to bring good out of every one of them.

Frustration has been mounting lately.  Frustration at the lack of resolution to situations I never planned on or thought I would face.  Frustration at the complete and utter “couldn’t care less” attitude of people standing in the way of resolution – and me being able to move on with my life – just because they don’t feel the need to make the time or effort to finish what THEY started in the first place.  I’m ready to be free, and I’ve even begun pushing forward to try to make things – something – anything – happen.

It’s so hard to know when to sit still and when to move.  But time is running out, and there are things that I need to do that I won’t be able to until I am “officially” single, even though I have been unofficially single since last May.  And did I mention I was frustrated?  And, quite frankly, growing angry at the passive-aggressive-I’ll-show-you-who’s-in-control-by-not-doing-anything-to-finalize-our-divorce-so-you-can-move-on-while-I-do-whatever-the-heck-I-want attitude I’ve been on the receiving end of for almost a year.  

I’m frustrated.  And tired of the situation. And the disrespect. To me.  To our marriage.

Can I be real?  

I’m sick and tired of being married to a man who has been committing adultery for over a year.  And flaunting it.  

I’m DONE.

And I’m ready to not be nice right back.

And then God drops an anvil on my head again.  Or several of them.

Yesterday, I got this devotional from Proverbs 31 in my email:

There is Purpose in the Wait

“Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” Psalm 27:14 (NLT)

If we allow it, our waiting will bring us to an intimate knowledge of God that we would not otherwise have. Most of David’s beautiful and poetic psalms were written while in caves, caverns, and the wilderness, waiting on God.

God does not ignore the cries of His children. David cried and begged God for help, intervention, and defense. God never let David down.

Our waiting has a purpose for someone other that ourselves. It’s not all about us. Just think of how rich our lives are today because of the wait David endured. We have the comfort, compassion, hope, and healing of the Psalms. 

What awesome instructions David’s life gives for waiting! Waiting is less difficult and the future is brighter when we let God do His work in our waiting season. When we let our guard and defenses down, we’re open to seeing how faithful He is to bring His plans for our lives to fullness.

And He reminded me of the many, many blessings that I have received because of the length of time this has gone on.

My first response to waiting is usually to complain or become angry, especially since I feel like I am suffering needlessly at the hands of someone else due to his sin and selfish choices.  I am eager to move forward and leave the past behind, and I can’t because I have yet to be freed from my bond to one who has broken his bond and covenant with me.  I want to view this waiting as a good thing, since I have had to make decisions extremely slowly, and have had a lot of time to work on me and my strengthening my relationship with God first, so that I can then have healthy, strong relationships with others second.

I think there is both the potential to grow closer to God as I wait and also the danger of drifting further away.  Initially, I grew incredibly closer to God because of the heartache and pain I was experiencing.  Now that I am ready and eager to move forward, though, I am frustrated that He will not release me from this bondage that I am in.  I need to be proactive about trusting in His timing, while at the same time trying to prayerfully move forward toward a resolution while looking to Him for guidance.

Then, a second anvil hit today when I got this Proverbs 31 devotional in my email:

Either He Planned It Or He Permitted It

And I wanted to email this woman and ask her how she crawled into my head, because that was just freaky how she knew EXACTLY what I had experienced over the last year.

Ordeals, hardships, distresses are permitted by God for our perfection. Either He permits them or He plans them. If God has intentionally laid out a troublesome path for us, He has a purpose. But it’s not always about us. God might place pain, suffering or distraction on our path to teach others about His love, steadfastness, and mercies. The way we react to stress reflects what we believe about God, and allows others to see His faithfulness.”

Either God sent it or He allowed it.

There is a purpose to this.  I think I know part of it right now, but I don’t know all of the reasons.  I just have to trust that He has plans to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me a future and a hope.

I’m trusting nothing I’ve gone through has been in vain, and also praying I’m close to the end of my path.

“Nothing compares to knowing and trusting the Lord is in control … especially when everything around me feels unstable. He won’t permit or plan something difficult for us to walk through without having a greater purpose behind it. One that will make us holier, more like Him, and shine His glory. Our experience is not in vain!”

 

My 1000 Gifts in 2013  
 
61.  Lunch and The Music Man with a friend
62.  Funny movies
63.  Kindred spirits
64.  Sales at Barnes & Noble
65.  My kid cooking dinner for me
66.  Coffee and creamer.  Lots and lots of creamer.
67.  Jeremy Camp CDs
68.  New Audio Adrenaline music
69.  WinterJam
70.  Lunch with a friend during the work day.  WHAAAAAT?!
71.  My kid passing his driving permit test and having a successful first driving lesson 
72.  Ballad of Serenity
73.  Facebook chats
74.  Kindred spirits
75.  Unexpected bonus at work
76.  Paying off a credit card bill
77.  Church league volleyball
78.  A quiet night in
79.  Pretty snow falling (but thankfully not sticking)
80.  Fantastic night of movies, food, and hanging out with a great friend
81.  Tiramisu
82.  Shrimp
83.  Fluffy new pillows for my bed
84.  Fluffy new floor pillows that I ended up getting BOGO because the price rang up wrong.  SCORE!
85.  Home group
86.  Pancakes and bacon
87.  Men who are willing to unselfishly sacrifice for their kids
88.  New CDs 
89.  Being trusted to borrow a friend’s treasured book
90.  Possibilities
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4 thoughts on “Purpose in the Wait

  1. Nancy, I absolutely LOVE your posts and am so grateful for your willingness to so boldly share your path with absolute strangers. This post hits home to me in such a powerful way. While I cannot relate to the pain of an unfaithful spouse, so much of this speaks to me as I am recovering from a profound betrayal by a dear friend who totally has a “complete and utter “couldn’t care less” attitude…standing in the way of resolution – and me being able to move on with my life – just because they don’t feel the need to make the time or effort to finish what THEY started in the first place.” Our God is so good!

    Thank you for your radical honesty!

    • Thank you for taking the time to comment! It’s amazing how God can use our complete junk to help others if we just let Him. And I can TOTALLY relate to your situation, as that same scenario was also a secondary part of my situation, too. But God has brought people into my life who are there for me when I need them, and are transparent with their junk, and trustworthy with mine. They aren’t all talk. And it is so incredibly amazing to finally experience that. Letting go of the old and moving on to the new was hard, but such a burden has been lifted.

      Move forward, and leave the past behind. Do what YOU are supposed to do, and let God deal with them. I know that I will never get an “I’m sorry” from anyone that turned their back on me, but I’m okay with that. I no longer need to hear it. Praying you get to that place, too.

  2. Mark Driscoll’s latest sermon March 3 is titled ” I am afflicted “. I googled it yesterday & if I recall correctly, his three points were that our afflictions will be used by God for the benefit of others, to make us more like Christ, & somehow for the glory of God. I like how Jesus Calling encourages us to thank God, even for our problems. Seems like the ultimate trust to me!Good post! Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia

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