Approval addiction is essentially an act of self-abandonment. Instead of finding your value and worth from your Creator, you have essentially given your heart up for adoption. You have given it away to others for love and approval, making them responsible for your feelings. – Pete Wilson, Empty Promises
I saw this quote posted on Facebook today by Women’s Bible Cafe and it hit me right between the eyes. I’m guilty of doing this a lot.
I’m learning that learning to be content in singleness is hard work. Especially after spending half of my life being half of something. I find myself cycling back and forth between determining to be content where I am and just remain here and focused on God and my child for the present, and the desire to start looking for a partner to eventually journey on with.
Logically and rationally, I KNOW it is a bad idea to rush forward. But I crave the companionship I once had.
And if I’m not careful, I can (and have) let the desire and search for companionship become an idol.
I have begun reading through the NIV One Year Chronological Bible again, and I flipped to today’s passage after reading the above quote. And I got hit between the eyes again.
The People Indulge in False Worship – Jeremiah 7:1-8:3
(4) Do not trust in deceptive words and say, “This is the temple of the LORD, the temple of the LORD, the temple of the LORD!”
(8) But look, you are trusting in deceptive words that are worthless.
(9) Will you steal and murder, commit adultery and perjury, burn incense to Baal and follow other gods you have not known, (10) and then come and stand before me in this house, which bears my Name, and say, “We are safe” – safe to do all these detestable things?”
(19) But am I the one they are provoking? declares the LORD. Are they not rather harming themselves, to their own shame?
(23) . . . Walk in all the ways I command you, that it may go well with you. (24) But they did not listen or pay attention; instead, they followed the stubborn inclinations of their evil hearts. They went backward and not forward.
I am the temple of the LORD (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). And lately I’ve been guilty of saying that God is enough, then not five minutes later getting depressed because I don’t have a boyfriend and letting worthless, deceptive words run rampant through my thoughts.
What if I wait too long? I might never find someone . . .
Who wants wants to date a 36-year-old divorced single mom? . . .
Will a strong Christian man even look twice at having a relationship with a divorced woman? Will the circumstances even matter? . . .
Better not set my standards TOO high . . .
I know that is part of being an emotional human being. But my wishy-washyness is getting on my nerves. An idol is anything we focus on more than our relationship with God. And I’m in danger of letting another relationship, or the search for another relationship, or the lack of another relationship become an idol. If I let my stubborn heart lead me, then I will only harm myself by going backward and not forward. That may lead to me settling for any man that I have an emotional connection with or that shows interest, whether that is the best thing for me or not.
I don’t deserve any man. I deserve God’s man set apart for me.
I don’t want just an emotional connection. I want a spiritual connection, too. MORE, in fact.
I’m done with backward. With the old. My One Word for this year is NEW, and I need to keep that in mind when my feelings start messing with my head.
The LORD said, “Surely I will deliver you for a good purpose . . . – Jeremiah 15:11
I have been delivered for a reason, and I don’t want to let my emotions get in the way of my purpose, or of the relationship God has for me.
I don’t want to trust in deceptive words that are worthless.