Blog Update

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I started this blog years ago, and didn’t do much with it regularly for the first few years.  Two and a half years ago, though, I went through a very painful and unexpected divorce.  I began seeking God more fervently in that time that I had my entire life.  This blog became central to my healing, as I journaled my thoughts, pain, and hopes for the future.  The restoration and healing God has brought to me over the past couple of years is nothing short of a miracle.

Over the past year, I have found myself no longer needing to journal here.  I don’t want to just blog for the sake of having a new post, so I am not sure when, or even if, I will post here regularly again.  But I am going to leave this page up and active, just in case someone who might be in similar circumstances as I was stumbles across it.  If that happens, and if that is you, I hope you get some encouragement from the things God showed me through my journey.

There is healing.  There is hope.  There are new beginnings.  Don’t give up.

Over Being Overwhelmed

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Learning the truth of this statement lately. Hence the lack of posts around here. Being a full-time single mom and full-time employee is exhausting. Trying to be more intentional in carving out time for rest, quietness, and reflection.

Five Minute Friday: Joy

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It’s #FiveMinuteFriday!

Five minutes of writing on a word prompt give by Lisa Jo Baker over here.

Unscripted. Unedited. Real.

Are you ready?

GO

JOY . . .

Joy.

Three little letters.
One huge goal.
I want to be filled with it.  I want to fight for it.
Over the last few years, that has been my mantra.  I will not let life’s circumstances rob me of my joy.  I will do whatever it takes to keep my soul from withering into a shell of bitterness and melancholy.
I have a ring with words I want to live by engraved on it.  I wear it on the ring finger of my left hand to remind me of Who my Husband really is, and that He is the only one that can provide all of those things in my life.  And that He is the standard by which all other  men should be measured.  I keep the word “Joy” turned toward me every day as a reminder that I can always have joy, no matter what is going on around me.
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And that God is the source of my joy.
That God MUST be the source of my joy.
And that when I trust Him and lean into Him and pursue Him, He will replace all that I have lost over the last few years.
In fact, He’s already begun.
By giving me new, deep soul friendships with people that chose me.
By bringing me a friend that truly gets me, and that I think might actually become the best friend I’ve always wanted but never really had.
By opening doors of new opportunities that are fulfilling and that give me a chance to use my talents and abilities for a new purpose and mission.
But I also trust that He isn’t finished yet.
That He is working on replacing other things that were lost.
And if I will only stop and remember that He is trustworthy, then I can have joy in the journey and peace in the waiting.
(First post in a LONG time.  Been super busy, and haven’t had much to say.  Grateful for the healing God has brought through blogging here over the past few years.  Will try not to be such a stranger.)

Wanna play? Here’s how:
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments.

 

Five Minute Friday: Visit

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It’s #FiveMinuteFriday!

Five minutes of writing on a word prompt give by Lisa Jo Baker over here.

Unscripted. Unedited. Real.

Are you ready?

GO

VISIT . . .

So, this is the first time I have paid a visit to Five Minute Friday in a while.  Life got busy and I just haven’t had the time or energy to blog.  And I haven’t really had that much to say lately.  Honestly, I’ve been busy living life.  And that is good.

For the biggest part of my life, the only people I would visit – or would visit my house – were family members.  Lots of reasons for that that I won’t get into.  Now, however, I often have people in my home to visit and fellowship.  I’ve found friends that genuinely like MEand visit because they want to, not because they have to or because I just happen to also live in the same house and one of their family members.

And I’ve discovered that I like having people over and hosting movie nights and home groups and supper.

And I plan to plan a lot more visits  to my house this coming year.

Real community is a beautiful thing.

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Wanna play? Here’s how:
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments.

 

#oneword365 – Present

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Life and work have both been non-stop for the past month or so.  Add in the craziness and busyness of the holidays, and I not only didn’t have time to do a 2013 one word wrap-up, I’ve also woefully neglected my blog in general.   I have, however, chosen my One Word for 2014:

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I don’t have time right now to do a full post on my reasons, but this quote I found on Pinterest sums it up nicely:

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What’s your #oneword for 2014?

 

Psalm 28 {Sunday Simplicity}

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Psalm 28

My Strength

Davidic.

1 Lord, I call to You;
my rock, do not be deaf to me.
If You remain silent to me,
I will be like those going down to the Pit.
2 Listen to the sound of my pleading
when I cry to You for help,
when I lift up my hands
toward Your holy sanctuary.

3 Do not drag me away with the wicked,
with the evildoers,
who speak in friendly ways with their neighbors
while malice is in their hearts.
4 Repay them according to what they have done—
according to the evil of their deeds.
Repay them according to the work of their hands;
give them back what they deserve.
5 Because they do not consider
what the Lord has done
or the work of His hands,
He will tear them down and not rebuild them.

6 May the Lord be praised,
for He has heard the sound of my pleading.
7 The Lord is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped.
Therefore my heart rejoices,
and I praise Him with my song.

8 The Lord is the strength of His people;[a]
He is a stronghold of salvation for His anointed.
9 Save Your people, bless Your possession,
shepherd them, and carry them forever.

Lesson Five: A Time to Heal

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~ Hope for the Wounded ~

God longs to bring healing and restoration in every area of our lives.  We can entrust ourselves to God as our Healer. – Margaret Feinberg

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After a couple of months away from this study I am now revisiting this lesson and looking at it with fresh eyes.  I know, now more than ever, that I must protect my emotional health and guard my heart.  Wounds on the inside – emotional wounds – the unseen ones – are often the hardest to overcome and heal.  So, so true.

I’ve been through several of the scenarios listed as examples in this lesson.  I’ve had to make tough choices that left me feeling like part of me died.  People have said and done things that cut me to the core.  I’ve experienced loss and pain that left me torn apart.  Life has thrown painful punches.

And so have people.

People I trusted.

I honestly would rather have a stranger punch me in the face than have someone I care about betray or abandon me.  I would definitely heal more quickly from than than emotional wounds.  I am deeply loyal and committed to those I love and care about, and when I am wronged by them it feels like part of me dies.  I have come to realize over the last 8 weeks that I feel that way because I have never learned how to set healthy boundaries in my relationships.  I take on too much responsibility for the choices and actions of others.

For the past two months I have participated in a weekly group studying Boundariesa book that has been hugely eye-opening and that I highly recommend.  This class and study has ushered in a while new level of healing for me.

Jesus healed not only people’s physical bodies, He brought healing to their hearts and minds.  That’s important to remember because God doesn’t limit healing to our physical bodies, but He also wants to heal our hearts and emotions. – Margaret Feinberg

Psalm 147:3 says:

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He is Jehovah Rapha – “YAHWEH Who Heals.”

God has healed my emotions many times over the course of my life.  I am now learning that a lot of the pain I have experienced was brought about by poor choices on my part, combined with a lack of boundaries.  God is now teaching me how to guard my heart in a healthy way so that I can let the good things He has for me in and keep the negative and toxic things (and people) out.  It is hard, slow work, but it must be done if I want healthy, whole relationships in the future.

In order to experience His full healing, I need to listen carefully to His voice, do what is right in His eyes, pay attention to His commands, and keep all His decrees (Exodus 15:22-26).  In order to do that, I need to stay in His Word and pray constantly (1 Thessalonians 5:17).  A deeper relationship with Him is the key to my freedom.

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Too long have I allowed myself to be held captive by unhealthy, emotionally destructive thought patterns.  Too long have I settled for relationships and “friendships” that weren’t God’s best for me or in my best interest due to fear of loneliness, fear that I was unlovable, and fear that I would never find something better.  Christ died to give me abundant life.  It is high time I claimed that gift and began living it.

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The key to experiencing God’s restoration and healing is to spend quality time alone with Him.  In Mark 6:31, Jesus tells the disciples

Come away by yourselves to a remote place and rest for a while.

As a woman – especially a single mom with a full-time job – it is difficult to find time to be alone with God without distraction.  I had to get over feeling guilty for taking care of my spiritual, mental, and emotional health.  What good is a spotless house if you are a mess on the inside?  Those feelings and thoughts of guilt are not from God.  God tells me that the most important thing I can do is deepen my relationship with Him.  And I have found this to be true.  Strengthening my relationship with God strengthens me, and in turn that strengthens my relationships with others.

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Setting aside time to rest and be restored by God is key to healing.  I have to take the time to work through and deal with my grief, disappointment, and pain.  I can’t ignore it or pretend it isn’t there.  Ignoring problems won’t make them go away.  But I can’t just sit around moping and feeling sorry for myself.  On the flip side, being busy as a way of just numbing the pain isn’t helpful and doesn’t work.  I must be busy working through the pain and getting closer to God.

God is nudging me to embrace my current life stage and take the opportunity to rest in Him and deepen that relationship when what I want to do is hurry up and get through this time of singleness and find a life partner.  But God is telling me to slow down, find out who I really am, and trust His timing for the rest.

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Previous Posts on this Study:

Psalm 27 {Sunday Simplicity}

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I’ve been surrounded lately by messages to wait, hope, and trust.  To be patient.  To embrace the process and live fully where I am right now without trying to rush ahead.  This psalm, and the image I posted at the bottom that showed up first thing in my Facebook feed today, are just more timely reminders.
 
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Psalm 27

My Stronghold

Davidic.

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—
whom should I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
of whom should I be afraid?
2 When evildoers came against me to devour my flesh,
my foes and my enemies stumbled and fell.
3 Though an army deploys against me,
my heart is not afraid;
though a war breaks out against me,
still I am confident.

4 I have asked one thing from the Lord;
it is what I desire:
to dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
gazing on the beauty of the Lord
and seeking Him in His temple.
5 For He will conceal me in His shelter
in the day of adversity;
He will hide me under the cover of His tent;
He will set me high on a rock.
6 Then my head will be high
above my enemies around me;
I will offer sacrifices in His tent with shouts of joy.
I will sing and make music to the Lord.

7 Lord, hear my voice when I call;
be gracious to me and answer me.
8 My heart says this about You,
“You[a] are to seek My face.”
Lord, I will seek Your face.
9 Do not hide Your face from me;
do not turn Your servant away in anger.
You have been my helper;
do not leave me or abandon me,
God of my salvation.
10 Even if my father and mother abandon me,
the Lord cares for me.

11 Because of my adversaries,
show me Your way, Lord,
and lead me on a level path.
12 Do not give me over to the will of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
breathing violence.

13 I am certain that I will see the Lord’s goodness
in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the Lord;
be strong[b] and courageous.
Wait for the Lord.

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